My surgery date is confirmed in my diary. Gastric bypass surgery. And my GP? He hasn’t got a clue.

Making the decision to have bariatric surgery wasn’t a quick one. The NHS waiting lists are a joke, and trying to get on them feels like trying to win the lottery. So, I’ve taken matters into my own hands and I’m to Turkey. But while I’ve been sorting out consultations, booking flights and making pre-op lifestyle changes, there’s one person I’ve kept in the dark. My GP.

You might think I’m mad. You’re supposed to tell your doctor everything, right? Sure, I get that. Your GP is meant to be on your team. To be the one who knows your history. But for me, keeping this to myself, at least for now, was something I had to do.

The outright truth is that I’m scared of being judged. Being fat is something people still think it’s okay to have a go at you for. The looks, the comments, the idea that you’re just lazy. I’ve had it all, even from doctors. I’ve gone in for a bad ear and come out with a lecture about my weight. I just couldn’t face having to defend my choice to have surgery, to justify it, and to get a telling off about the risks of going abroad.

It’s not like I haven’t done my homework. I’ve researched my clinic like my life depends on it – because it does. I’ve read all the reviews, I’ve checked out the surgeon, and I’ve even spoken to people who have had it done there. Erdem Hospital is top-notch and my aftercare is sorted. I feel safe. But I needed to do this for me, not to have to explain myself to someone who doesn’t get what it’s like.

And, I just wanted a bit of privacy. My weight has been on show for everyone to see for my entire life. This surgery feels personal. It’s my choice, for me. I’ll need my GP when I get back, of course, but by then I’ll have all my notes from the hospital, my new diet plan, and a list of meds. I’ll go and drop them off then. The surgery will be done, and we can talk about what’s next, not about what he thinks of my choices.

I’m not saying this is what everyone should do. Your relationship with your GP is your business. But what I am saying is that it’s okay to protect yourself when you’re doing something this big. It’s okay to shield yourself from any negativity. And it’s okay to be in charge of your own story.

This is my life, my body, and my fresh start. And I’m doing it my way.