Picture this. Post-surgery, you’re in the office, and it’s someone’s birthday. You know that cake is empty calories so you decide to have a small, tablespoon sized piece. You smile, feeling like you were able to partake in the celebration. Fifteen minutes later, you feel sick. Your stomach is churning, your abdomen is screaming in pain, and you’re on the toilet, spraying the back of the toilet bowl with some unholy liquid that had to have been invented by Satan himself. 

Welcome to dumping syndrome.

Dumping syndrome, more correctly known as rapid gastric emptying syndrome, is when food moves too quickly from your stomach to your intestines.

The science of this can be explained relatively simply:

1. You’ve had bariatric surgery so have less stomach.
2. You eat something high in sugar, carbs, or fat.
3. This moves into your intestines quickly.
4. Your intestines try to desperately dilute it by pulling in more water.
5. Your intestines swell like a water balloon.
6. Cramping, bloating, diarrhoea etc occur. This is known as early dumping.
7. Your blood pressure may dip and insulin may spike, causing you to feel light headed
8. Your blood sugar may be low afterwards. This is known as late dumping.

Here are some delightful stories from Reddit of people’s experiences with dumping.

“This morning at 2am I woke up in excruciating pain. My abdomen was distended quite far and I immediately started crying from the pain. I went into the restroom and sat down; I was covered in sweat and just in agony. It took 4 hours to become a tolerable level of pain, and a couple more to not hurt anymore. I had to alternate from sitting on the toilet to laying on the bathroom floor. The floor isn’t comfortable anymore when most of your surface area is right to the bone. I tried to have a few sips of water mid battle and immediately threw it up when I got back down on the floor. I never ever want to go through this again.” – Kubbee83

For dinner I did steamed salmon with teriyaki sauce (likely why). 2-3 hours later I got flush, nausea, shaking, bowel pain, etc. basically what was described as late dumping syndrome. Learned my lesson and no more sugar. – Aware_Result_7457

“So yesterday I had broccoli cheddar soup from Panera, very delicious. I forgot to watch for the fat content though, so I think that is what is making my stomach feel so bloated and overall giving me malaise. I had some nausea that has mostly gone away. There is, however, the going to the bathroom part of this that has got me praying to the bowel movement gods that I survive through these bowel movements. I don’t have to dont have to use much force, but as it is passing I get a feeling that is close to almost fainting, a dull deep ache that feels like something is dropping. I feel like this is worse than being constipated, at least I didn’t feel like almost fainting while on the toilet.” – timetoheal123

My birthday is at the end of November, so given my surgery date, perhaps no cake for me.