Telling people you’re having weight loss surgery is weird.

It’s a medical thing, but it’s also personal, emotional, sometimes a bit embarrassing, and guaranteed to come with at least one awkward conversation where someone says, “Oh, you don’t look that big.”

Noted, thanks.

There’s no official rulebook on who you should tell. So I’m figuring it out as I go. Here’s where I’ve got so far.

Who I have told

People closest to me

The ones I actually trust. People who don’t try to fix me or act shocked.

People who need to know logistically

My boss. A couple of colleagues. Not because I want to, but because they’ll notice I’ve disappeared for a while. I gave the basics—nothing emotional, nothing deep. 

A few online friends

Honestly, they’ve been the most supportive. No raised eyebrows, no weird reactions.

Who I’m not telling (yet, or maybe ever)

People who’ll make it about them

You know the ones: “I just started keto again,” or “Have you tried portion control?” or “That’s so extreme!” These conversations are exhausting, and I’ve got bigger things to think about, like protein powder and how to survive on soup.

The family group chat

They’ll find out eventually. But for now, I’m not in the mood for Diet Advice Bingo or anyone telling me about their mate’s cousin who “put all the weight back on.” No thanks.

People who think they mean well

The “You don’t need surgery!” crowd. The “But I like you how you are” crowd. The “Just love yourself” crowd. I do love myself, actually. That’s why I’m doing this.

Why I’m not hiding it, but also not shouting it

People will notice. And I don’t want to lie. But I also don’t owe anyone a press release about my insides.

This is a big deal, and I’m treating it like one. But I also get to choose when and how I talk about it. And if someone finds out and makes it weird, that’s on them.

This is something I’ve thought about for years. I’ve tried a lot of things. I’ve carried a lot, physically and mentally. And now I’m doing something hard and scary and hopeful. For me.

So yeah. Some people know. Some people don’t. Some never will. That’s not me being shady. That’s just having healthy boundaries.